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Post by KSSunflower on Feb 7, 2021 13:36:20 GMT -6
I found this article about the role masturbation plays for men and women. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-matters/201705/men-masturbate-make-the-difference-women-dont?ampHighlights: •Sexual satisfaction plays a huge role in how often one masturbates. •Men generally masturbate to make up for the desired sex they aren't getting. •Women tend to masturbate in a complimentary way - the more sex they have, the more they masturbate. •Masturbation can be used as the path of least resistance to meet one’s sexual needs or be blamed for sexual problems rather than the more complicated task of addressing what is getting in the way of sex with your partner. •Think about how masturbation fits into your overall sex life and relationship, and then talk with your partner about it. (There are some questions listed that you can think about and discuss) |
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Post by steveca on Feb 9, 2021 13:53:10 GMT -6
Masturbation can be a great way to relieve stress and think about an experience you may never get to enjoy in reality
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utah
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Post by utah on Feb 17, 2021 0:52:00 GMT -6
I think I generally agree, at least with the highlights. My DW masterbates when she is already aroused, primarily after sex. I typically do it when I'm not getting enough sex for whatevery reason, such as if she is on her period. Generally, I prefer intercourse to M, so it isn't that common. I do think men could benefit from more practice, edging, etc. It could help them last longer, just as it typically helps speed thing up for women.
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Post by KSSunflower on Feb 17, 2021 12:48:10 GMT -6
I do it for both reasons.
As the article stated about mb and sex for women, "one primes the pump for the other." I find that to be true for myself. Masturbation increases my desire for sex and sex increases my desire for more sex (mb is a way for me to fulfill that need when h isn't immediately available). I could wait but if I let it go the desire goes with it and the process has to be restarted each time to get me warmed up again. I can get kind of reclusive when I've gone without sex for awhile.
On the topic of satisfaction with amount of sex, h is satisfied with less sex than me. I guess this is proven by the fact that he rarely masturbates. He's good for a couple of days after his release, whereas I want to go again and again. When this happens I usually mb to make up for what I'm not getting. It may seem silly to mb, making myself want sex even more when h wants less. Doesn't that make the situation worse? It actually makes me more ready when he wants sex, he doesn't have to work so hard to get me there because I've done a lot of the prework.
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jack
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Post by jack on Feb 18, 2021 13:13:55 GMT -6
I do it because at this stage in my life it’s all I have left. It is good stress relief, and similar to what steveca said already, allows me to daydream about things we have done that I will never be able to do again and maybe a fantasy or two as well.
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utah
Newcomer
Posts: 19
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Post by utah on Feb 18, 2021 23:56:56 GMT -6
There are lots of reasons that people masturbate that were not really talked about in the article. Masturbation is also a great for stress relief and relaxation. And, at least for men, it can help you sleep. I have done it at night when I couldn't sleep--works like a charm.
I think one of the greatest blessings is coming to a place where you can be at peace with your choice to masturbate and have the confidence to get what you need from it. I wish I had come to this place much earlier in life. I suffered through a lot of guilt as a young man.
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Post by macman0922 on Mar 22, 2021 10:02:18 GMT -6
I do it for both reasons. As the article stated about mb and sex for women, "one primes the pump for the other." I find that to be true for myself. Masturbation increases my desire for sex and sex increases my desire for more sex (mb is a way for me to fulfill that need when h isn't immediately available). I could wait but if I let it go the desire goes with it and the process has to be restarted each time to get me warmed up again. I can get kind of reclusive when I've gone without sex for awhile. On the topic of satisfaction with amount of sex, h is satisfied with less sex than me. I guess this is proven by the fact that he rarely masturbates. He's good for a couple of days after his release, whereas I want to go again and again. When this happens I usually mb to make up for what I'm not getting. It may seem silly to mb, making myself want sex even more when h wants less. Doesn't that make the situation worse? It actually makes me more ready when he wants sex, he doesn't have to work so hard to get me there because I've done a lot of the prework. |
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Post by lovebunny on Apr 11, 2021 12:28:35 GMT -6
I started masturbating when I was 10 or 11 years old. The first time I came was the most scary feeling but once I had done it I wanted it again, it was wonderful. I masturbated because I enjoyed it. Yes I looked at pornography when I could but I didn't need it. I masturbated often from then on, even when I was having sex with a girlfriend at 16-18.
I ended that relationship at eighteen and not long later I joined the church.
I struggled with masturbation as a church member, however I managed to stay 'clean' long enough to serve a mission but even then I succumbed once or twice in the field.
I'm sixty one now, married with adult children. I masturbate now and then but don't feel the guilt I once felt in my early days in the church. I fantasise about my wife when I do it, I have no thoughts or desires for other women real or imaginary and it still feels nice, if not as intense as when I was young.
I understand why we are taught to avoid arousing sexual feelings, particularly when young, as it can lead to other things when one has a relationship. But I wish that the past belittling and shaming had not occurred. I think many have been hurt and disillusioned, some permanently, by people with influence teaching their own interpretation of right and wrong with no consideration for love and care for their fellow man. When I was a leader I was guilty of this, to my shame. It grieves me to this day.
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