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Post by KSSunflower on Feb 14, 2020 17:46:01 GMT -6
Valentine's Day has always been a fun holiday for me. When I was younger my mom would make heart shaped sugar cookies and we'd decorate them to take to school. My dad would buy all of us kids a box of chocolates and a small toy. We'd exchange valentine cards at school and got MORE candy.
When you're in a relationship, it's a time to show love to them (although it's not the only time of year to show love, you can do that any day). For many, it's a fun tradition; and a happy day full of chocolate, flowers, a nice dinner, heartfelt cards, and hopefully ends with sex.
However, there are those who aren't feeling the love they once felt early in their relationships. The days are filled with doubt and sorrow as they try to work through their struggles. Valentine's day can be depressing. How can you participate in a holiday about love when it feels like a lie to say, I love you? Many days you don't even like your spouse or feel like your spouse doesn't like you.
Despite often feeling unhappy you stay committed and hold out hope for better days. You know you love them even if you don't feel it at the moment. You want to have a healthy relationship.
What are things you do to express love to your spouse, even when you aren't feeling it?
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Post by foggy on Feb 14, 2021 12:20:16 GMT -6
Hey KS, Hope your day has been worthy of you. Valentines day has never meant much to us. 15th is our anniversary and it trumps Valentines. Tomorrow we begin our 37th year and I think it'll be a good one. To your topic, I am not sure that many of us really understand what true love is. Too often we are quick to proclaim that we are in love and too often we are quick to denounce being in love. I suspect that we use being "in" or "not in" love as justification for underlying decisions. We live in a disposable world now and the concept of making something last is fading and being replaced with instant gratification. My wife reminds every year that even though I had a nice garden last year, I must get up and plant again if I want a good garden this year. A garden that isn't tended to every day, probably won't give the best of produce. My wife and I seldom express love with words. It happens but more often, we express it everyday with small things. It's the little giggles, the moments on the porch swing, the cold drink on a hot day, the oil rubbed on my neck when I have a headache, the last piece of bacon being left for the other, the last bit of chocolate being shared in a kiss. We tend to handle the big challenges in life but struggle with the mundane, so if you aren't feeling it, share a candy bar. Sound cliche but... I promise you, he/she can be as hot after 36 years as on day one.
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Post by KSSunflower on Feb 15, 2021 20:57:37 GMT -6
It's the little giggles, the moments on the porch swing, the cold drink on a hot day, the oil rubbed on my neck when I have a headache, the last piece of bacon being left for the other, the last bit of chocolate being shared in a kiss. These are great ways to show love, for sure. When I wrote my question, I was thinking more in terms of when even those little things become difficult to do, where they have ongoing major issues for years without resolution. In other words, they've put forth the effort of "making it work." I suppose that if one is having difficulty, starting with small acts of love would be a tiny step toward better feelings for one's spouse. In a post I recently made it stressed the importance of gratitude. Those who feel appreciated are more willing to do things that please their spouse. Somebody has to get things started. It might as well be you. Your problems won't be solved over night but "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass."
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