"Not only is this the key to a happy marriage, it's also the key to falling in love with each other all over again." ~ A Prophets Voice.
What do you think of this quote as it pertains not only to marriage but particularly sexual incompatibility?
I think that two people can look at the same thing and one person sees good and the other bad. For example, the lower-desire spouse sees how their higher-desire spouse is frequently initiating, seeing if s/he’s interested in sex. One person can look at this and think, “Wow! My spouse really loves me and thinks my body is beautiful!” Another person can look at this and think, “Really!!? Again?!? All s/he wants me for is sex. Am I nothing more than a penis/vagina to her/him?” Now, for different spouses, either one could be true, but I think there are a lot more spouses thinking negatively and being wrong, than spouses thinking positively and being wrong. Too often we fail to give our spouse the benefit of the doubt — not saying they always deserve it or that we should always give it, but that we do sometimes withhold it when it is deserved.
However, some situations just suck. I mean, how am I supposed to find the good in my wife’s sexuality in a sexless marriage? “Well look at how much more time she has to spend with the kids...”?
I think we can appreciate our spouse’s viewpoints about various sex acts and their desire to live the Gospel, but I’m going to have a hard time focusing on that if it results in us not having sex at all.
Post by sumdudesfrysauce on Aug 10, 2019 22:30:35 GMT -6
His statement is correct, but I'm not sure that it's the key. I think we can all see the good in someone and quite possibly a whole lot of it, but that doesn't mean we will desire them as a companion or as a sexual partner. Wanting that and not being able to have it despite seeing all this good, will leave you unhappy and unsatisfied with the the relationship.