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Post by KSSunflower on Aug 8, 2022 20:53:29 GMT -6
I feel like it is wrong of it takes away from you and your spouse having intimacy, but I also feel like “How long am I supposed to go on being sexually aroused…with no relief in sight”. Does anyone else feel the same? Valid thoughts. What does your husband think about masturbation? Would he be ok with you doing it? |
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Post by jjjp on Oct 9, 2022 22:41:44 GMT -6
Does your husband object to your masturbation? Tell him you’re super horny and invite him to help you orally, manually or enjoy watching you pleasure yourself. That may bring you closer. If he’s not interested, express your need for release. I imagine he’ll understand. I’m in a similar situation with low desire wife and periodically we have sex together. Sometimes I rub one out next to her and occasionally on my own. She’s supportive in that way. Good luck.
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Post by Bruceson on Sept 20, 2023 8:41:33 GMT -6
Hello all. Very late to this conversation but I've been looking for someplace to talk and came across this site. I have been so conflicted about masturbation as an LDS man. My wife went through a pretty serious illness about 10 years ago. Because of the medications she has had to take she went into early onset menopause and her libido just died. I know that she has no control over that but it has been frustrating. I'm still pretty young and have been having a difficult time just not having sex. I talk with her about how I feel though she seems quite content with the lack of intimacy. To be honest, I had masturbated on and off throughout our marriage and have been struggling with whether it is wrong or not but now it's all I seem to have in the area of sexual intimacy. My wife will have sex with me if I insist but that just doesn't feel right. I have been doing my best to try and still feel close to the Spirit as I continue to masturbate. I have set boundaries and this has helped as I strive to bridal my passions. I guess I'm just wondering if I am in a small minority of LDS men that feel the same or not. Am I failing in the sight of God? Am I still a good person? I know those are loaded and personal questions. Just wondering how some of you may deal with those same questions.
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Post by Bruceson on Sept 20, 2023 8:55:21 GMT -6
I should add, as well, that my wife is very, very conservative. She isn't aware, at least as far as I know, about my masturbating. This is part of why I am so conflicted. I need release but I don't want to upset my wife.
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Post by KSSunflower on Sept 20, 2023 11:55:48 GMT -6
Hi bruceson! Welcome. I wanted to say that masturbation doesn't make you a bad person. You're in a difficult situation, and many can empathize with you. The ideal would be if you could talk to your wife about it and work to come to an agreement on how to handle your needs so they don't impede her needs and vice versa. You both deserve to have your needs met in some way. Sexual intimacy is divinely approved, and you don't need to feel bad for desiring it. You love your wife and are trying to find a solution that doesn't force her into something she doesn't desire herself. So, stop feeling guilty for asking or encouraging. She can always say no. We still invite, even when others may decline. Lastly, I found this helpful when learning about bridling passions. It doesn't mean to suppress or kill all our passions. We bridle them so that they might serve a higher purpose. We direct them in positive ways. Finding appropriate outlets for them helps us become better people and of greater service. I definitely think there are ways for masturbation to be an appropriate outlet when controlling one's sexuality. www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2014/01/bridle-all-your-passions?lang=eng |
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Post by Bruceson on Oct 4, 2023 12:32:36 GMT -6
Thank you for your words and the link. I appreciate your time!
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