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Post by KSSunflower on Jul 3, 2018 12:32:24 GMT -6
This was on the Mormon Channel in 2014. It's just a short clip. Take a look and let me know what you think. Click Here. Some things it talks about: 1.Narcissistic viewpoints on sexuality 2.Learn how to respect and understand other people (how can we ensure mutual respect and understanding, so one person isn't always the one bending to the other's will?) 3.Sex intended to be used and enjoyed within a marriage relationship (what if a spouse rarely enjoys or wants to use sex?) 4.Where the body goes the mind goes (diminishing arousal from lust) 5. Abstinence approach is insufficient. Must be emotionally and relationally prepared. Fostering the whole relationship. 6. Chastity, a condition of the spirit, not just an action of the body. |
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Post by NeverGiveUp on Jul 16, 2018 0:06:26 GMT -6
Need to watch this later too. Dang sleep.
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Post by edshubby on Jul 16, 2018 14:36:10 GMT -6
This was on the Mormon Channel in 2014. It's just a short clip. Take a look and let me know what you think. Click Here. Some things it talks about: 1.Narcissistic viewpoints on sexuality 2.Learn how to respect and understand other people (how can we ensure mutual respect and understanding, so one person isn't always the one bending to the other's will?) 3.Sex intended to be used and enjoyed within a marriage relationship (what if a spouse rarely enjoys or wants to use sex?) 4.Where the body goes the mind goes (diminishing arousal from lust) 5. Abstinence approach is insufficient. Must be emotionally and relationally prepared. Fostering the whole relationship. 6. Chastity, a condition of the spirit, not just an action of the body. I think this was really good and jives well with my own experiences and how I felt the Spirit instruct and prepare me prior to marriage. 1. What was interesting to me was the part of the conversation — granted, I was trying to listen while my son was practicing piano, so maybe I heard incorrectly — where they basically said that self-centered sexuality was self-defeating and would work to inhibit arousal and sexual response. Did I hear that right? I wonder if it also correlates with ED issues in men and general lack of desire in women. 2. To me, this kind of goes without saying. However, part of this is communicating your desires. If you never communicate them, how is your partner supposed to fulfill your desires? If your partner isn’t communicating, you should be trying to get him/her to do so. If they still don’t, you can only do so much. 3. I think this one kind of goes back to one of the things they said — again, maybe I misheard — about how if you are not approaching sex selfishly, that is the start of appropriate sexual desire. A selfish approach to sex tends toward lust (inconsiderate or objectified sexual desire) or sexual apathy. In other words, if a spouse rarely wants or enjoys sex, there is something deficient either medically or relationally. 4. I think it can go both ways. 5. Yes! Our focus in discussions about sex tend to be about mechanics and maximizing pleasure. While mechanics and our spouse’s pleasure are important, it ignores the whole emotional and relational aspect that should be at the root of everything else. I think everyone just assumes it is there because they are getting married. Even if it is, we have to mentally connect the dots or it might as well not be. 6. I think overall we think of chastity in just the sexual sense. It can also mean purity of intent and personal integrity. In that sense, sexual chastity is really just one aspect of chastity overall. Are we having sex with pure intent, giving of ourselves and motivated by selfless love? Or are we really just seeking our own pleasure with little care for our spouse? (And I think “selfless” implies a marriage commitment). In that sense, the law of chastity could be thought of to extend beyond the letter of the law / pharisaical adherence to simply not having sexual relations except with your husband or wife to whom you are legally and lawfully wed, to the spirit of the law which would be something along the lines of entering into sexual relations with selfless love and fidelity. |
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Post by NeverGiveUp on Jul 16, 2018 23:28:22 GMT -6
I don't have anything more to add than edshubby already stated.
I did get a chuckle from the title though, "How do I focus on a gospel view of sexuality?"
My thought was we need to start teaching and talking about it in FHE and in sunday school. I'd love to teach a lesson on this to my 16-18 year old class -- their parents would flip, but it would be so freeing.
Sexual relations between a married couple is meant to be wonderful, special, and fun. When it's done correctly it's so fulfilling and to me it's the grease that helps all the other wheels go round.
I loved the points the two therapists brought up. I thought they were pretty spot on.
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Post by steveca on Nov 13, 2019 10:18:38 GMT -6
I disagree on her view of pornography. She cites no professional studies that show that pornography causes you to focus on yourself and not the other persons needs. If anything, more people have claimed that pornography in some forms has helped them learn how to please their partner better and make their partner feel better during sexual activity.
To me, this is a toxic video. My sister and I used to watch pron together, it never damaged us in any way or caused us to have selfish feelings while in relationships. It DID help us become better lovers within our relationships.
You are born with a conscious ability to know right from wrong, you don't need a "gospel" mixed in with sexuality to tell you how to grow and become a mature adult.
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Post by KSSunflower on Feb 7, 2021 11:42:35 GMT -6
I just wanted to point out that I do not believe pornography is a good way to learn how to please your partner. In my experience, people who watch excessive amounts of pornography do not make good lovers.
It's true that many of the same sexual acts you would perform with your spouse are acted out in pornography. However, there are many other acts which I would caution somebody from doing. These acts could be potentially harmful to their partner and their relationship. Youth, especially, are prone to getting the wrong ideas about sexuality from pornography.
Pornography only shows the physical side of things. While that is one part of sexual relations, there is much more involved when it comes to real relationships. This deeper aspect helps us to feel connected to our partner thereby building trust that will lead to a willingness to explore sexually with them.
While one could learn the mechanics of sex from watching porn, it isn't a good teacher to create the kind of happiness that we seek in marriage. There are many other ways (better ways) to learn how to please one's partner without porn.
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