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Post by mathieu on Jul 9, 2018 19:09:11 GMT -6
Do you do it? Does your spouse know? Has it ever came up in an interview at Church?
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Post by edshubby on Jul 9, 2018 22:46:11 GMT -6
Yes, I do. Still kind of two minds about it, but being in a sexless marriage, I was just too stressed out, irritable, and miserable otherwise.
She probably knows, but we don’t talk about it — she’s seen the half-empty bottles of lube that I’ve never used when we’re intimate, but she hasn’t said anything.
It’s only come up in interviews when I have raised the issue.
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Post by KSSunflower on Jul 10, 2018 2:45:30 GMT -6
Yes I do. Yes he knows I do. No it’s never come up in a church interview.
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Post by NeverGiveUp on Jul 15, 2018 21:30:57 GMT -6
Yes, I do. Yes my wife knows it happens, but not the frequency.
Yes it just came up in an interview. I was a bit shocked to be honest.
Apparently the SP, is on an anti-M kick...
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Post by edshubby on Jul 16, 2018 7:49:19 GMT -6
Yes it just came up in an interview. I was a bit shocked to be honest. Apparently the SP, is on an anti-M kick... So what did you tell him during your interview? How did that go? |
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Post by NeverGiveUp on Jul 16, 2018 23:14:52 GMT -6
I said, "I keep the law of chastity."
it went fine otherwise.
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Post by lovebunny on Sept 9, 2018 14:18:47 GMT -6
Yes I do. Yes she does and not for a long time.
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Post by twuewuv on Sept 12, 2018 20:01:28 GMT -6
I do not do it.
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Post by mathieu on Sept 14, 2018 9:17:49 GMT -6
Yes, I do. Still kind of two minds about it, but being in a sexless marriage, I was just too stressed out, irritable, and miserable otherwise. She probably knows, but we don’t talk about it — she’s seen the half-empty bottles of lube that I’ve never used when we’re intimate, but she hasn’t said anything. It’s only come up in interviews when I have raised the issue. I do not do it. Do you not do it for any specific reason? |
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Post by twuewuv on Sept 14, 2018 23:33:32 GMT -6
I don’t think it’s right. Plus, that’s what I have my wife for.
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Post by edshubby on Sept 15, 2018 0:46:11 GMT -6
I don’t think it’s right. Plus, that’s what I have my wife for. Hopefully you mean that you and your wife are intimate frequently enough that you don’t feel the desire for anything else. Hopefully satisfying your sexual needs isn’t what she’s “for”. |
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Post by twuewuv on Sept 15, 2018 23:22:39 GMT -6
Correct.
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Post by edshubby on Sept 16, 2018 4:11:05 GMT -6
I don’t think it’s right. Just curious, why do you think that? Is it a total prohibition, or under what circumstances do you think it might be okay? I think it is one of those very situational things, which makes it hard to say it is okay or it isn’t okay. I think the answer is much closer to “it depends”. Honestly, when I first discovered it, no one had really talked to me or told me what masturbation was — I suspect it’s the same for a lot of people. So there I was, thinking about the law of chastity, (this was pre-FtSotY), but the only context I had was sex between two people and are they married to each other or not. It didn’t align so well to my situation. |
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Post by twuewuv on Sept 17, 2018 6:55:23 GMT -6
I believe the sexual organs are meant to be stimulated by the husband or wife for intimacy/pleasure and reproduction.
People claim they “need” a sexual release. They want a sexual release. Like any habit, the desire will go away if you don’t do it.
What do you mean by “it depends”?
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Post by edshubby on Sept 17, 2018 15:59:02 GMT -6
I believe the sexual organs are meant to be stimulated by the husband or wife for intimacy/pleasure and reproduction. Does this necessarily exclude other purposes for them? Can they have multiple purposes, like your throat (swallow, breath), a man’s penis (waste elimination, reproduction), etc.? Can things have secondary purposes? Or can they be legitimately used for unintended purposes if it doesn’t harm the primary purpose? People claim they “need” a sexual release. They want a sexual release. Like any habit, the desire will go away if you don’t do it. If a person doesn’t have sex or masturbate, for how long will the desire for sexual release “go away”? For every individual it may be different, but the desire always comes back. If you’re making the argument that the reduction in desire is permanent, that is a dangerous and false idea to be peddling. What do you mean by “it depends”? I think that there are situations where it is clearly wrong to masturbate because it is being used in place of improving the relationship with the spouse. If a husband and wife have a relationship where one or the other doesn’t want to have sex because the relationship has deteriorated, masturbation shouldn’t be used as an escape — although I might argue that it’s the pattern and not necessarily any individual instance that is wrong. I think that there are situations where it is clearly okay to masturbate because it is being used for things that have never been called sin (e.g. IVF using the husband’s DNA and the wife’s DNA; call me crazy but the wife’s participation is optional when it comes time for the husband to provide his semen at the doctor’s office) or as part of a husband/wife sexual relationship (e.g. masturbating while the other watches, for their enjoyment and arousal; masturbating together; or masturbating during phone sex with each other). Between the two, I think there’s a lot of grey area where it probably depends a lot on the person’s unique situation. What is their relationship with their spouse like? What’s the effect of masturbation on that relationship? Are there physical limitations due to disability or illness? Differences in libido? There’s a lot to consider. |
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